diluted_soul

I hate thinking about tomorrow.

Everyday I have the compulsion to send my self into a trance, to be plagued by the "what-ifs" and "what thens" of the next week, the next month, the next years. I end up gripped by the notion that life is short, and... fruitless? And then I feel empty.

Perhaps its normal. Especially when time is finally given to you. You get the breathing space that you need. And once you have it. You don't want it. You don't want time to think, to mull over things...time to stop...to breathe. You were so used going 120 km per hour...simply looking ahead, getting things done. When you completely stop you realize you are in one confined space, that your world has become so narrowed its suffocating.

"What am I doing here?" you think. "Ive never asked myself that before"

"What was I doing?", "Where was I"... you suddenly don't remember

Its a shitty feeling

But life goes on.

Time won't wait. It doesn't give a shit for you.

You just have to go on...

When?

How?

You decide.


I hate thinking about tomorrow. So I might as well just live it.